I wrote here before about my career change.
The part I didn't write about was that I've been going through some real bouts of impostor syndrome in the first few months after the change.
You might have read about impostor syndrome and what it means, but for me, it always felt like something that exist but only apply for other people. Until it happened to me.
It all started with the first few PR's - short for Pull Requests - I sent on my new job.
This was my first sample of getting my work reviewed by my peers. With the reviews came a lot of improvement comments, with the implementation of the comments, more comments came and so on.
As a background, in my previous life as a big co. management worker, there were not a lot of concrete deliverables on a day-to-day basis. Much less deliverables that will be reviewed and iterated upon. So, to say that I have lost the muscle to be told what I have done was not right-first-time or good enough is a huge understatement. (Also coming from the manufacturing world adds up to this need of getting it right-first-time)
During the first months my days varied from thinking I am under paid and over delivering and from believing that I will be fired at any moment.
I feel like this at least once a week. That was when it hit me that the impostor syndrome is real!
I feel it when I read code that I cannot really understand. I feel it when I don't think is appropriate to ask for help. I feel it when I think that I should know that. I feel it when I think that I will never match the level of my peers. I feel it when I receive comments on my PRs. I feel it when I fix the PRs and then receive more comments.
With all of that going on, I have tried to think a lot about how I could use this feeling in my favor. How to make it work for me. Here are a few points I figured:
When the impostor syndrome sits in, there is a real risk that you will allow for self-pity to also sit in. And that is the worse you could do. With self pity it comes self-sabotage.
This is when, against all evidence, you start to believe that maybe you are not cut for that. Maybe you will never be as good as your colleagues – even though they've been doing this for 10 years and you for 3 months – etc etc.
Let me tell you one thing...
This is bullshit. Talent is overrated.
Put your head back in the game. Realign your efforts and move on.
That's it for today. Hit me up on twitter
Cheers, Jorge